I gave up a 6-figure career to care for my father at home. He died, and I'm still struggling financially.

• Suzanne Horton's father, who suffered multiple health problems, lived with her for five years.
• She quit her well-paid job and cared for him full-time before he died at the age of 82.
• Horton stretched her budget to cover the costs and still suffers the financial aftereffects.

This story is based on an interview with Suzanne Horton, 48, a mental health therapist from Tacoma, Washington. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My caring journey started at the end of October 2019, when my father's neighbor showed up on my doorstep.

He brought Papa to me after finding him sleeping in his van. He'd lost his keys, fallen in the backyard, and hit his head several times.

Papa lived with me from that moment on. He was diagnosed with compounding medical problems, including kidney failure, heart issues, and two forms of cancer.

Long-term care wasn't something we could afford

There was no question that I'd care for him. He'd provided a life for my older sister and me ever since my parents divorced when I was about 14.

He put me through graduate school, and I was forever grateful for the opportunity.

Long-term care wasn't something we could afford. The circumstances caused me to quit my well-paid job as a therapist, contracted by the military, and stationed in places like South Korea.

I went from earning six figures to zero, but set up my own private practice. It was during the pandemic, so I was able to do televisits from home.

The cost of caring for Papa took its toll. I had some savings, but by the time he died in March 2025, $80,000 and $21,000 in investments were gone.

I arranged a moratorium on my student loan payments and stopped contributing to my 401(k). I also decided to forgo health insurance because I could not afford the coverage.

The money was spent on items such as a wheelchair, a better-than-average walker, wound care supplies, and transportation to countless medical appointments.

We had to build a $6,000 ramp outside my house because there were three stairs that Papa couldn't manage. I couldn't have taken him to dialysis three times a week without the addition.

Papa received aid from the Veterans' Association

He also needed a special, high-protein diet because of his kidney disease. It could be expensive. At one point during COVID, the cost of a carton of eggs went up 300%.

Papa had been a chaplain's assistant in the Army for five years, so he was entitled to help from the Veterans' Association. The people were amazing. However, he hadn't gone to war, so he had certain co-pays to meet.

Financial assistance might be available, but it usually involves long waits and a huge amount of bureaucracy. Papa had immediate needs — like help with feeding— and we couldn't wait the two or more years until approval was granted.

I developed sciatica

His mobility declined, and he required a walk-in shower. But the conversion price was prohibitive at $17,000. Instead, we had to manage with a folding chair.

Then there was my own poor health to deal with. I got injured trying to figure out how to maneuver him. I was diagnosed with sciatica after experiencing searing pain from my hip to my toes.

Without health insurance, I had to pay for urgent care and $120 a session for physical therapy, three times a week.

It scared me. I'd watched my dad go through it already, and didn't want to end up sicker because I've missed being taken care of as I got older.

My emotions suffered, too. I teach carers this stuff every day in my new business, Family of Standards, but you're constantly in fight-or-flight mode.

Papa was put in hospice care

You are in a permanent state of hypervigilance because you have to keep track of all these different pieces.

I was devastated when Papa died at home after being in hospice. He was a great father to me, and I miss him terribly.

My caregiving season is over, yet I am still feeling the financial responsibility. I'm working extra hard in my job, but I often feel like I used my future to fund Papa's last five years.

Still, it was worth it because he always knew he was loved and cherished. If I were to go back in time, I'd do the same thing again.

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