Only one of these foods will be served at the MLB All-Star Game in Philly, so let's break down the competitors

Philadelphia is the birthplace of this fine nation we call home, so it's fitting that as part of America's 250th birthday, the MLB All-Star Game is taking place in the City of Brotherly Love.

But as much as Philly is known for history, it's equally known for food.

Cheesesteaks, TastyKakes, pretzels, roast pork sandwiches and anything from Wawa.

As part of the All-Star festivities, Citizens Bank Park will welcome a new food item from a selection of four candidates, which will be determined via a fan vote.

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Of course, it's not enough to just win the vote. The winning selection will need to look right at home alongside the city's culinary titans.

But can any of them do it? Well, let's take a look at them and see by giving them a one to five rating.

You can't do baseball without a hot dog, and what a name. We're off to a hot start and haven't even talked about what is in this patriotic SOB.

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According to MLB.com, the Declaration Dog is "a smoked Wagyu beef frank laid out on a toasted pretzel roll topped with a candied bacon crumble, apple cider gastrique, and crispy shallot and micro mustard greens.​"

Good lord.

I love the pretzel bun as a nod to Philly, and the smoked Wagyu beef frank sounds divine, even if I think taking Wagyu beef and making a glizzy out of it seems like a bit of a waste.

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Then you've got the candied bacon crumble and apple cider gastrique, which I think will go together nicely and play off of that barrage of smokiness from the bacon and frank.

Crispy shallots for some crunch and micro mustard greens so you can tell your doctor, "No, really, I eat greens."

This may be a bit too highfalutin for a ballpark dog — Give me a foil-wrapped dog with yellow mustard all day — but dammit, if that doesn't sound incredible.

Score: 4.3 cups of wooder ice out of 5

Alright, so maybe they used up all of their naming mojo on the Declaration Dog, because "Liberty Stack" doesn't give you any inkling of what this might be, but it's a buttermilk-brined hot chicken thigh on a brown butter-maple-glazed donut.

If that didn't get your heart racing, it's also topped with charred peach bourbon compote, aged cheddar and pickled Fresnos.

This is the headline stealer because for some reason, people still go, "WHAT?! Fried chicken on a donut?!" even though this has been happening for quite some time. In fact, we're way past this and started frying Pop-Tarts.

Still, I'm sure this tastes delicious, even if you will feel immense shame after eating it. My only concern is that there may be too much going on. The sweet and saltiness of the donut and chicken will work great, but once the peach bourbon compote, cheddar, and pickled Fresno come in, they might all crash into each other.

And, if this wins, godspeed to the Citizens Bank Park custodial staff. They might need hazard pay.

Score: 3.75 Butterscotch Krimpets out of 5

There's a lot of savoriness, but if you're inclined to pick something a little bit sweeter, here's an option named after the nation's flag-sewing GOAT.

This puppy has banana pudding and vanilla soft serve, with crushed vanilla wafers, peanut brittle, hot fudge, strawberry sauce and toasted marshmallow cloud. Then they top it with red, white and blue sprinkles before sweetening the deal by serving it in a souvenir mini-batting helmet.

I love this, but I just don't feel like this is special enough for this stage.

I'm not mad at it, but I feel like, of all the options, something comparable to this is found in a lot of places.

Other stadiums, theme parks, malls.

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Hell, I think I could probably construct this at home (and might).

It's still a winner, which goes to show what a strong field this is, but I suspect poor Betsy Ross' namesake dish will be bringing up the rear.

Score: 3.25 bags of Utz potato chips out of 5

This. This is why we revolted against the tyranny of King George III, so that one day we may put smoked short rib, aged provolone, charred onion jam, fried peppers and pickle butter on a pressed brioche roll in the name of baseball... and freedom.

Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, this comes with a side of consommé for dipping.

This sounds like someone took a French dip — already an elite sandwich — and said, "How do we make French dips look Lunchables?"

And not the good Lunchables.

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Everything about this sounds incredible, and like it would go together perfectly.

My only reservation is trying to wrangle a cup of hot beef consommé while watching a ball game. Maybe just don't wear white and put a protective layer of napkins over your crotch, and you should be fine.

As a Big J journalist, I'm supposed to be impartial, but this is the one I would vote for.

Score: 4.6 buckets of Chickie's & Pete's crab fries with extra cheese sauce

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