I struggled to make friends after moving from D.C. to Pittsburgh — so I threw a party

• I moved for cheaper living, but didn't expect the loneliness.
• I missed the parties and friendships I had in D.C.
• I threw a neighborhood party — and 32 people showed up.

Three-and-a-half years ago, my husband Brad and I moved from the Washington, D.C. area to Pittsburgh, where I grew up, in search of cheaper real estate and a lower cost of living. We also wanted to be closer to our families, as Brad is also from Pennsylvania.

What we didn't realize was how much we would miss our second family, the large group of friends we acquired from 20 years living in the area.

We had friends from different parts of life

There were my college friends, Brad's coworkers with whom he was close, friends we made in our apartment complex and at church, and even friends we met online through our first dog, Moe.

We consider ourselves very grateful to have had such a positive experience living in D.C. We loved spending time with our friends so much that we loved having any excuse to throw a party. We got everyone together for Friendsgivings every November, epic holiday parties every December, a "Beef B" night around Valentine's Day where I made Julia Child's beef bourguignon, and every spring for an Easter lunch.

Something was missing after our move

Fast forward three years. Brad and I found and bought our first home and settled into a close-knit neighborhood in the Pittsburgh suburbs. While it was nice seeing our family more often, we felt bored and like something was missing from our lives. We did make a new friend, our dog Thor's brother's owner, and we get together twice a year with her and laugh at the antics of our crazy Frenchies. Unfortunately, that said friend lives an hour away, so it's hard to get together much more than that.

Late last year, Brad and I were talking in bed one night and concluded that we really missed our parties we used to throw. We reminisced about times we played Cards Against Humanity at 1 a.m., had everyone wearing a ridiculous turkey hat at dinner, and more.

After some brainstorming, we decided to throw a holiday party open house the same night as an annual fundraiser our neighborhood has for a local charity or family in the area. We would have a QR code to donate to the cause and offer a place to hang out before and after the event. We decided to invite everyone in our cul-de-sac.

We threw a party and invited our neighborhood

The day of the party, Brad and I both felt elated with anticipation. We were blasting music as we cleaned the house and made his famous Buffalo chicken dip. My cookies gave the house a cozy smell and a warm feeling. We were instantly transported back to the happiness we felt while entertaining friends. We did have a good number of people come, and since it took place before the holidays, many left to see Santa and The Grinch drive by in a firetruck. Brad and I looked at each other, satisfied for the most part at our first attempt at a get-together. We figured that the party was over, even though our invitation said it lasted three more hours.

We were shocked and so excited that, after that fire truck drove by, our neighbors came back. Children in our cul-de-sac did not want to leave our finished basement, where they had organized a game and were loving being together. The adults upstairs were enjoying our cocktails, beer, and food. I even got into a conversation about Baby-Sitters Club books with my neighbor a few doors down. Neighbors came through our door who didn't live in our cul-de-sac, who we barely knew, who we welcomed with open arms. People left around 10 p.m., which was late enough for us, as we are 40-somethings now.

That night, 32 people came through our front door for fellowship and fun. While we were worried at first that no one would come and we'd be more disappointed than we were in the first place, we were delightfully surprised and so glad we put ourselves out there.

While we still keep in touch and try to see our friends in D.C. as often as possible, we are happy we threw a party with people we hope can become new friends. Luckily, it worked, and we hope to have more parties this coming year. As the saying I learned in Girl Scouts goes, "Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold."

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