The new millennial flex: spending thousands on a birthday weekend at a chateau

The theme was "magical fantasy forest." Celina Tolbert and a friend spent the day decorating the chateau's wood-paneled dining rooms and spiral staircase with moss, leaves, and fairy lights to make it feel enchanted.

By evening, guests had arrived in corsets and chainmail before heading to a make-your-own-potions station. A playlist of medieval-style pop covers played in the background as they sipped Champagne.

And that was just the first night of the three-day, 30th birthday celebration Tolbert threw for herself. She invited 21 friends to a French chateau about 80 miles south of Paris, shelling out about 2,200 euros ($2,557) hosting it.

"If I can actually afford it," Tolbert said, "why would I not?"

The chateau birthday boom

Tolbert, an American social media strategist who lives in Paris, is part of a growing wave of older Gen Zers and young millennials swapping bars and restaurants for castles and chateaux for milestone celebrations.

"Our data indicates a clear shift toward experience-led milestone birthdays," Oliver Bell, cofounder of the British luxury rental company Oliver's Travels, told Business Insider. "Travelers are increasingly choosing distinctive, heritage-style rentals for major celebrations, and the trend spans both domestic and international markets."

Oliver's Travels said that, in its analysis of booking data from the past five years, close to 40% of inquiries for milestone birthday stays came in the last two years alone. As for bookings, around one in three 30th-birthday bookings during that five-year period were made in the last two years.

Chateaux, manors, and castles are popular backdrops for these milestone celebrations, the company said. France was the most popular destination, followed by the UK, with most customers coming from the US and Britain.

Airbnb has also seen a rise in chateau stays among younger travelers. Gen Z travelers are increasingly "swapping city breaks for rural castle stays," and the trend is "only gathering pace," said Lisa Marçais, Airbnb's general manager for the UK, Ireland, Northern Europe, and MEA.

Bram Gallagher, director of economics and forecasting at AirDNA, which collects short-term rental data from the likes of Airbnb and Vrbo, said demand for stays at chateaux in France has been "steadily increasing over the past three years."

According to AirDNA's data, the number of nights stayed over the 12 months ending April 2026 was almost 16% higher in France compared to the same period in 2022.

One reason, he said, is that milestone birthdays fit into the growing trend in the short-term rental market of favoring experiential travel.

For Tolbert, hosting her birthday in a historic French chateau also offered a way to make up for another celebration.

"Some of us aren't getting married, or didn't have money when we did," Tolbert said.

She had a civil union in 2023 and kept the celebration low-key "due to finances," but said it never "scratched that itch" to do something grander. By the time she turned 30, she finally felt able to splurge on herself.

"I don't plan to have kids, and a lot of my friends don't either," she said. "I could think of this as spending the money my friends are spending on their kids on myself. I could get a really expensive dog, or I could rent a chateau."

The new wedding substitute

Amanda Rollins, a 35-year-old content creator from Boston who also lives in Paris, has turned chateau birthdays into a tradition. "I did it last year, I did it the year before, and I'm going to do it this year too," she told Business Insider.

For her 34th birthday, Rollins booked Chateau de Rubelles, about 36 miles southeast of Paris. The 93-acre site has deer and wild rabbits, an ornamental pond, and, inside, a grand ballroom. The venue and private chef cost around 7,700 euros in total, with Rollins covering 4,450 euros herself. Her 26 guests each contributed 125 euros each.

The following year, for her 35th birthday, she booked a 19th-century castle in Manou through Airbnb, about 75 miles southwest of Paris, for roughly 5,500 euros. Surrounded by a moat and flanked by stone towers, it looked straight out of a fairytale, though Rollins said it was a little more rustic inside than the previous year's venue. She covered about a fifth of the cost, while her 36 guests each contributed 120 euros.

Like Tolbert, Rollins sees these celebrations as standing in for large weddings. "My girlfriends, beautiful, intelligent, capable women, are all single by choice at the moment," Rollins, who is also single, said. "So it's like, if I'm not going to have a wedding, well then hell yeah, I'm going to throw a party."

In some ways, the chateau birthday boom sits at the perfect intersection of trends that have become synonymous with millennials and Gen Zs. Americans today are getting married and having kids later than previous generations, often in their late 20s and early 30s rather than their early 20s, and tend to prioritize experiences over things. The same is true in Europe.

"Millennials are reaching traditional milestones later in life," Northwestern Mutual financial advisor Justin Hacks told Business Insider, "which can provide more flexibility to travel and to budget for destination celebrations."

It might also reflect a change in spending habits. Northwestern Mutual's Consumer Sentiment Survey of 2,511 people, published in April, found that families who spend intentionally during an uncertain economy feel more in control of their finances. The survey described intentional spending as "well-planned splurges that bring lifetime memories."

'30 is kind of special'

For London-based media lawyer Beks Lockie, who is originally from New Zealand, her three-night 30th birthday celebration at a French chateau near Bordeaux in 2024 was about creating core memories with her closest friends.

"Whether it's going to a concert or going on a holiday or whatever it is, I think people are more inclined to spend their money on experiences and creating memories," Lockie said. "With AI, things that are real have higher value to people."

The birthday trip, including accommodation, flights, a private chef, groceries, and a wine tour, cost about $8,700 in total, which was split among 13 guests at about $670 each.

Lockie said it was worth it, because there are few other opportunities in life "to get dressed up and literally run around a castle" with her friends.

By the time she turns 40, she expects those kinds of trips may be harder to pull off as more of her friends settle down or have children.

"I don't think it'll be as easy to pull 13 people away to a castle for a long weekend," she said. "I think 30 is kind of special."

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