I tried 4 patriotic fast food promotions, and the best one captured the spirit of America's 250th birthday

Krispy Kreme's USA-themed doughnuts

I have a soft spot for Krispy Kreme and fond memories of road trip doughnut stops with my family as a kid, my sisters and I savoring fresh-out-of-the-fryer rings in the back seat.

As an adult, I rarely visit the chain —in part because the nearest location is more than 20 minutes away, but I've also since found it's not as craveable as it once was.

With three semiquincentennial offerings this summer, each priced at around $3.39 in my market, though they're as low as $2.50 in others, I hoped the chain would make a comeback in my mind. I left disappointed, as it was the least favorite of my four stops.

Two of the three doughnuts tasted exactly the same —plain rings with vanilla icing. One merely had sprinkles while the other had no additional toppings.

The third had a cookies-and-cream filling that I found cloyingly sweet, with no discernible cookie flavor to set it apart from the others.

All three, as part of their USA-themed decorations, featured highly concentrated food dye that stained my fingers and the corners of my mouth.

Don't get me wrong, they were doughnuts, and by no means unpleasant, but unfortunately, Krispy Kreme's patriotic treats looked more festive than they tasted.

Burger King's cinnamon apple pie and firecracker cookie pie

Burger King's July 4th dessert menu includes its firecracker cookie pie as well as the "cinnamon apple pie," a direct competitor to its longtime fast-food rival, McDonald's apple pie.

The cookie pie was explicitly rolled out for America's 250th celebration and featured more festive packaging and decorations, while the cinnamon apple pie debuted earlier this year and will remain available while supplies last.

I thought the firecracker cookie pie, with a sugar-cookie crust, vanilla mousse filling, and a whipped cream topping, was a bit one-note and overly sweet, though the mousse had a pleasant texture.

Although it wasn't to my taste, served cold, it felt like a refreshing, creamy dessert to be enjoyed on a hot summer day.

With a price tag between $2.99 and $3.59, depending on your location, it was slightly pricier than the apple pie, but I found the cookie crumbs and sprinkles on top were an added patriotic bonus that helped it stand out from the other desserts on the list without being too try-hard.

Burger King has offered handheld apple pie before — notably, it discontinued its Dutch Apple Pie in the summer of 2020 after its manufacturer stopped producing it.

However, McDonald's vastly outperforms Burger King in both total revenue and average store sales, and the pie seemed a perfect example of the competition: Burger King's version, while tasty, felt like it was trying to replicate the McDonald's classic rather than carve out its own lane.

Although the taste was very similar to McDonald's pie, the dough in Burger King's apple pie was denser, less flaky, and a little less flavorful; it also had larger bites of apple but a similar cinnamon taste in the filling. Priced at $2.13, with a range between $1.99 and $2.69 depending on location, Burger King's version was less expensive, but it didn't feel like a better value.

Wienerschnitzel's funnel cake

My most surprising stop was at Wienerschnitzel —a brand that has been around since the 1960s, boasting a menu of "Mmm-Merican" food, but one I must admit I am not particularly familiar with.

Their new menu item for the nation's 250th birthday includes a limited-time summer menu of hot dogs, corn dogs, and, for the first time, funnel cakes topped with apple pie filling, strawberry, or Oreo cookies.

I opted for the apple — since what's more American than apple pie? — and found myself going back for bite after bite of the treat.

The funnel cake itself was well-fried, with crispy edges and a fluffy center, and the topping was the classic mix of sweet and cinnamon that you'd expect. It came with a layer of whipped cream topping that melted into the cake since it had clearly come straight out of the fryer.

At $6.45 after tax, this dessert was the most expensive that I tried —and they can run as much as $8.00 depending on flavor and location — but it was also the biggest, and could easily be split between two people and still be satisfying. It was also one of my favorites, and made me want to try more of Wienerschnitzel's offerings.

McDonald's fried apple pie

Last seen nationwide in 1992, McDonald's fried apple pies' return this season made headlines for good reason.

When the golden-arched giant switched to baking their apple pies, fans lost the blistered, crispy crust you can only get from deep frying. Reviving the fried version in time for the nation's birthday was a deliberate (and, in my opinion, wildly successful) nod to McDonald's —and America's —roots.

I say this as someone too young to have tasted the original and therefore not biased by OG nostalgia: this thing slaps.

With the return of its fried apple pie, McDonald's once again proved why it remains at the top of the fast-food leaderboard. At $3.01, the pie was almost the least expensive treat I tried, but I would have happily paid a dollar more for how much I enjoyed it. If you're lucky, you can snag one in a lower-price market for as little as $1.99.

The crust is delightfully light and flaky, a step up from the baked version, while the filling delivers the iconic apple flavor you've come to know and love from the burger chain.

Served piping hot, it is a bit of a burn risk, but what's the 4th of July without a little fire?